Why hello there Lexers. Tonight is the eve of most of our first graduations (unless you’re an alumni, which puts you one year older on the academic calendar). As we prepare to march on down those red bricks towards Lee chapel hoping that we won’t sweat out of whatever hair product we’re using, I can’t help but wonder what’s next. And it was when a friend of mine were talking about the next step with a certain degree of uncertainty and a margarita in hand, I couldn’t help but wonder… is there a graduation for relationships? When it comes to relationships, how do you know what the next step is? As we leave the bubble, Lexers, the real question is: where do we go from here?
Obviously the answer to this question lies in the nature of the relationship. If we’re talking about one of the 6 registered engaged couples on campus, then the next step is hopefully one of unity, and leads towards one of the two aisles of Lee Chapel (there is no center aisle in Lee Chapel, proof, if of nothing else, that it’s the perfect spot for a gay wedding. I’m just saying). If we’re talking about boyfriend and girlfriend here, well the next step is a little more tenuous. Any time you graduate into a new stage in your life, your commitments and priorities change. Are you going to have time for that special someone when you’re trying to navigate life without mom and dad pumping your bank balance with allowance? Who knows? Don’t sweat it.
And then there’s the most important relationship of all (no, not the one between Lexington’s finest and someone who will be an alum this time tomorrow): the relationship between friends. When life changes and we’re no longer a stone’s throw from each other, the true nature of our friendships will truly be exposed. Will those “pals” you had in class fade away and become after thoughts, or is there more in store for you? What happens to those relationships is purely determined by how much work you intend to put into them… there’s no way to determine now, but graduating forces you to think about these truths and proceed accordingly.
Ladies and gentleman, in a perfect world, everything would stay the same forever (also in a perfect world, I would have accomplished my dream of having a romantic candle light dinner with a certain el president, but whatever. No big). Our lives would never be tested and the things we hold dear today would be with us tomorrow, and forever. But alas, that isn’t the case. As we move forward, things are going to change. The question isn’t where do we go from here, but rather with whom do we go there with. Have a great week Lexers, and don’t forget to follow LATC tomorrow morning while we blog graduation!
Why Hello there you Stay-Up-Laters. So it was just the other morning when a friend of mine and I were up late, watching trashy infomercials on TBN when one came on encouraging people to bedazzle their nether parts. According to a testimonial I read online later, 22% of women find it acceptable to va-jazzle… the lady version of be-jeweling. (in case you were wondering, the male version is to di-gazzle or to manscape. Just so you know).
Well it was when a friend of mine and I were discussing this new phenomenon, that he confessed that he too manscapes what the good Lord above gave him. In fact, just the other day, my friend’s mother sent him a pretty penny to get a haircut as his hair was growing quite long and she’d prefer to see it trimmed before graduation. Instead of cutting his hair above, my fairly feathered friend took the money, got his junk wig trimmed and some bejewels added on and finished the day treatment with a well tipped happy ending (clearly I can’t tell you where he got this service done… but I wouldn’t be surprised if the happy ending part was a fabrication.)
It appears ladies and gentlemen that we’re in an era when simple hygiene just won’t do. In relationships these days you’ve got to offer something special. Whether it be the crown jewel or a nicely trimmed treasure trail—both of which can be achieved by a nice young lady whose feet may or may not have been bound at some point in her adolescence— and if you don’t have the extra sparkle, chances are the opposite party won’t feel the spark. Until next time Lexers, check out some of these home be-jeweling kits.
Why hello there Lexers. A week to go and yet everything still seems the same. Same pressure to pass, same parties happening, same everything. Well, Lexers, it was just the other day that a few friends of mine and I were talking size and we realized… there really should be a “do not fly” list on campus. Why? So that you don’t cake it hard core with someone only to unzip those “Lucky You” jeans only to realize that you aren’t the lucky one… size does matter folks. So the as yet unofficial “do not fly” zone is a network of underfortunate undergrads with peckers too small to entertain. And even though the threat of being Ashleigh Scinta’d out of school is keeping us here at LATC from publishing the list on line, the fact of the matter fellows is that people do talk. And while I know for a fact can’t say that a solid two thirds of the list (which isn’t exhaustive by the way) isn’t taken up by closed minded and ignorant Phi Psis who may or may not live at Val Halla and other assorted homes, LATC will say it might be time to for you to lease a hummer. Or buy a big house. Or check out from Leyburn the complete history of Napoleon Bonaparte… Just to make yourselves feel better. With that said, ladies and gentlemen, have a great last week. Follow LexATC on Twitter for a daily dose of doozy.
Hello Lexers. How about a little hump day treat? Try to keep up… this one is a doozy. So the question is what graduating senior had relations with a 37 year old dancer from Roanoke? We’re all about turning Lex into Cougar Town so we’re not going to call foul on the play just yet. In fact, we didn’t consider this a remarkable fete until we learned about her family lineage. That’s right ladies and gentleman. Said senior also gets to cross off daughter of a faculty member from his Senior Bucket list. Are we a little jealous? Of course… but only because we here at LATC didn’t get to do that for story. Until next time Lexers…
Why hello there Lexers. A couple of friends of mine and I came up with a theory over afternoon beer the other day. You can tell the kind of person you want based on your cell phone preferences.
Think about it. If you’re looking for an all business all the time corporate type, you most likely have a black berry. If you’re into someone who’s more fun, laid back but could crack on you… iPhone anyone? If your significant other of choice is high tech, trendy and forward thinking… Droid for you. I personally favor people who are low maintenance, serve their purpose but are little fuss. I have an LG slider.
The way you treat your phone can also tell you how you’re going to treat the other that you eventually settle on. Think about the friends you know who are always losing their phones, moving on and going to the next. When was the last long term relationship they were in? What about those who put their phone through stressful abuse? I’m not saying they’d make bad lovers, but I will say watch the right hook if their phone found its way smashed into a wall once.
It’s pretty uncanny, and I’m sure there is some research out there to prove it, but purely from some keen observation (and the help of someone taking an anthro class that is interested in this sort of thing), we’ve figured it out. So go Lexers. Check out the array of phone options, make your pick and stick with the one that fits with you. With that said, I’m not sure what it says about you if you still have a landline. Maybe you’re looking for a homebody… or a farmer.
Why hello there Lexers. Before you go off and enjoy your weekends, I thought I’d address a couple of the questions that have been building up in the LATC mailbox. Here goes.
How do you feel about W&L being named the frattiest school in the country?
You know, let’s discuss this for a second. This school asked the Princeton Review to take us off of their list because we were #1 for beer and #2 for liquor (or something like that). We have a member of the faculty dating a fratstar… on the national scale! Duh we’re the frattiest school in the country. I don’t need some frattinghard poll to tell me that. With that said, am I glad that our partying ways have finally earned us some respect? Of course I am. I happen to have friends that snort go to SMU, and I have to say I was never worried about taking the crown. Good job W&L. Work hard. Play hard.
I called texted someone’s phone and then someone else replied back saying they’d left their phone there. This seemed sketchy to me. Is it just me?
No, it is not just you. That is by far one of the sketchiest things someone can do. Let’s be honest here. People lose their phones about as often as they lose their g-strings on this campus… it happens every other day. When the finder answers the losers phone to say “I have this person’s phone,” sketchiness has reached a whole new level. Who does that? In this day and age of sexting, you can’t afford to go through someone’s phone. You don’t know what you’ll find there. I’m sure this person thought they were being helpful, but being helpful includes these steps and these alone. 1. Shoot, I have this person’s phone. 2. Let me email this person. 3. Let me turn the phone off and wait for them to retrieve it.
Phi Psi Cockfight: There’s nothing like seeing a bunch of dicks dudes beat the crap out of each other. No matter who gets hurt here, those watching always win.
Why hello there, Lexers. Sorry for the long hiatus. I’m going to be honest for a second— and for once— I was thinking about how I would let the blog go upon graduation. Would I give it away? Train someone? Phase it out? Then I thought… I’ll just quit. Cold turkey… like a crack head arrested on his third offense and sent to the pen. Done. And then something so juicy came to my attention, I decided I couldn’t really do that, now could I. I feel like Whitney Houston— I just can’t say no. So here goes Lexers. A little ditty that hopefully gets you back in my good graces and lets LATC finish off on a high note.
So what LexPo officer is currently getting to know the student body even better than before? Our sources here at LATC tell us that someone is getting the good old fashioned frisk from one of Lexington’s finest on a regular basis. Of course we can’t tell you who the officer is, or even who the student, but let’s just say we don’t think Phi Delt will be getting any noise violations any time soon. Have a good day Lexers. Enjoy the sun, and come back later for a Weekend To-Do list.
Why hello you stay-up laters. Here at Lex and the City, we can’t resist a good all-nighter or two, especially when we’re treated to some truly spectacular anonymous tips. So here’s the question, Lexers. Which faculty member’s midnight caller has the vanity plates KA-1? I wish I could tell you, Lexers, but the fact of the matter is, who adults let sleep over is their business and their business alone. We just hope the suped up ride doesn’t scratch the white paint off of the car next to it. Someone is getting an early start on scandal of the year 2010. We truly wish we could show you a picture… only the walk home from Leyburn is too dark to capture a photograph this late at night. Goodnight and sleep tight Lexers.
