A Note on Rush
Dear Freshman Girls,
As approximately 89% of you embark on the institutionalized torture time tested tradition that is Formal Rush, we here at Lex and the City would like to give you our biggest good luck. Although I’m sure everything your Dorm Counselors, Rho Gammas, Teri Cugliari have told you is completely accurate, the fact of the matter is, this exciting time is also a very stressful time. There is no use sugarcoating it as you won’t find any powder on the desk here at LATC, the next week will make rock stars of some and cry babies of many. The sorting hat that is the rush super computer will soon divide each and every one of you, friends and foes alike, into six houses that make up a social hierarchy so complex that Confucius himself would likely marvel at its complexity.
In my time here, ladies, I’ve seen more tears in Graham Lees on the Thursday of rush than on the most dramatic final rose ceremony on ABC’s the Bachelor. But just because some will win and some will lose, often for reason unbeknownst to them, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t enjoy the next few days. Go out there with your head held high, ladies, and take each and every house by storm. For the most part, be yourself; in some cases, be a better version of yourself. Put in the back of your mind the time you slept with an upperclassmen’s recent ex-boyfriend or was found engaging in a DFF on the dance floor at a hot and sweaty party: these are not the lasting memories that people think of when they see you all cleaned up during formal rush. Erase the memories of those recently untagged pictures on Facebook of you making out while double fisting Natty Light and a red solo-cup next to a girl who you didn’t tag because you didn’t know her name: these are not the photos that will be projected on a screen for an entire sisterhood to scrutinize using a random assortment of verbs or adjectives until wee hours of the morning. Finally, forget completely about the times you uttered such social faux pas as “everyone in Kappa loves me, I’m practically a member already” on traveler: if you don’t remember it, no one else will.*
This week is meant to inspire you, and truly at the end of it all, you will be a stronger, more secure woman… even if you fall through all together don’t end up in the house you thought you would. After all, ladies, they are just Greek Letters put on brightly colored t-shirts; the labels that are attached to them are completely what you make them. I hope these words of encouragement mean that, although enjoyable for most boys and upperclassmen alike, I will not be seeing a flood of tears in Graham Lees come Thursday or hearing about people flying home or transferring to Sewanee in the days to come. I sincerely hope that when I call my mother at the end of the week, my call will go through because AT&T has not crashed from the barrage of calls home from girls barricaded in the restroom wondering aloud to their mothers “what they did wrong” or “why they can’t just fly home for the weekend.” Instead, I want everyone to suck it up, have a great week, and enjoy tear night… not tear night… both spelled the same, but mean two completely different things.
Sincerely Yours,
Lex and the City
*Although I told you to believe these acts won’t affect the outcome of your formal rush, the fact of the matter is: it will have an impact. Still, they are only letters on a brightly colored t-shirt. As long as you are not this girl, you should be fine.
[insert inspiring message here].
