Lex and the City: Rinse and Repeat

I normally spend Mondays writing the relationship advice that has made Lex and the City so credible and influential for the past three years. Recent events, however, have forced me to table the next LATC article until tomorrow so that today I can address a very serious matter. The pooper has struck again, people. Not the same pooper, I’m hoping (although that part of the investigation is still underway). No, another human being happened upon the home of the fine ladies of Kappa Delta and left them a present on their main floor. Now we’ve heard of some pretty vile things going down on tear night. Just a few minutes ago, I got the number of Plan B’s dispensed on Sunday morning from the Health Center and people it is staggering. But even the most disgusting act of human debauchery did not prepare me for this news. Who knew that when DumpTown took her first sit down on the dancefloor two years ago that she would become the greatest trend setter this school has ever seen? Followed closely by the Pole 2 Pooper who at least had the courtesy of using a toilet when delivering his brown hued message to those ladies. But now this… ladies and gentlemen we are simply disgusted. When will the pooping stop? When will people realize that it is ok to use the restroom before you go out? Pooper 2.0, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Especially with all that is going on in the world today, adding to it your specimen is not what America needs. I challenge you, ladies and gentlemen, to stop this sort of behavior. Save the pooping for where the pooping is appropriate. A sorority house’s main floor chair is not one of those places. With that said, have a happy recovery from tear night’s debacle. We here at Lex and the City would love to hear your horror stories, but only if they are poopoo free.