This Just In

Alright Lexers, so I’m halfway through writing this week’s LATC when I get an anonymous tip that turns my stomach in such a way that it must be physically impossible. It appears, Lexers, that the third time is the charm. A poopy bandit has struck again, this time in no other place than Srat bridge. Why? I ask you Pooper ThreeDux. Why? What is the point of such an action, for crying out loud? Taking a stink on a bridge? Did you expect such an act to be funny? Are you trying to repulse the poor ladies that eat/live in those houses? Is this simply a cruel joke in the hopes that someone’s Tory Burch flats gets stuck in the poo? As the rest of the campus gears up to love their bodies this week, I ask you, Pooper Threepeat to love your restroom. This is unacceptable behavior and this epidemic has gone too far. Dumptown, your work here is officially done. Please stop sending your minions into our lives to produce foul dumps everywhere we go. Until tonight when Lex and the City is posted, ladies and gentlemen: Have a good day and please take your shadoobies where shadoobies are meant to be taken.