Lex and the City: The Other Thing Is
Hello Lexers. There are very few things I enjoy more than spring time… that is until facilities management decides to pepper our campus with compost that makes the entire hill smell like the inside of a dirty toilet bowl. But alas, the warm weather, sunshine and excuse to wear flip flops still prevail and we here at LATC plan on soaking in every ounce of our last Virginia spring.
And it was when a friend of mine and I were enjoying the weather over green beer at Macado’s that the topic of being the “other woman” came up. We’ve all heard the tragic tales of being cheated on or cheating on someone, but the plight of the “other” is rarely discussed in mixed company. And it was when I started to feel sympathy for the third piece of a love triangle that I couldn’t help but wonder: in relationships, what happens when you find yourself in the middle? Is it ok to approach someone who is “taken”? When it comes to relationships and someone got there first, is it ok to continue going after what you want?
I know, I know, this seems like a no brainer: never under any circumstances should you allow yourself to be a couple’s other. Its not courteous. Its slightly slutty and in the long run, it gives you a reputation as a Dirty Jezebell (double the Dirty J points if you’re from New Jersey… just saying). It’s the relationship equivalent of cutting someone in line (in the grade school way, not the prison yard kind of way.) But I think its time to give the Scarlett Letter/Burn the Witch thinking a revamp.
Consider, for example, whose responsibility a relationship is. Naturally, the only two people responsible for what goes on in a relationship are the two people in said relationship. Everyone else is an extra. So when it comes to cheating, the only two people who could possibly be held responsible are those two we’ve already deemed responsible. The other party is merely there for the show. There’s always the question about whether its appropriate to go after someone who is “taken,” but the real fault lies with the taken person requiting your advances in the first place. It’s quite simple actually.
Believe me, I’m in no way suggesting that people should go above and beyond to juge their way into people’s relationships, by any means. I do, however, think that if you find yourself in a situation that may or may not result in a wrecked home, you should rest easy. Let the two who have a responsibility to each other sweat it out. Your work here is done.
As we get older and older and the potential dating pool gets smaller and smaller, there will always be a sector of the population who is interested in stepping out of their commitments to find something new. It’s been the case since single people were allowed to own homes next to married people and attend the same church picnics. It isn’t fair to ask someone who is unattached to look for love but restrict the people they’re allowed to flirt with along the way. On the contrary, let’s cut those others some slack and let them find love in whatever way they choose.
Have a good week, Lexers, and don’t forget to take advantage of these last three days to find a date before Fancy Dress. I know people, single and taken, will be out and about tonight, tomorrow and Friday, so go put yourself out there. Don’t think myopically about your option: don’t be afraid to snag someone who may already have a date… you never know what can change between now and then.
